As I journey to the airport to send my sister off for her graduation trip. I can't help but ponder how minute friendship could be. This few months have hit me hard, made me think seriously about the friendship options I have been making in my whole life. Truth: I prolly wouldn't be who I am without those that stick by through the tough and happy moments. Truth: nobody said they would stay forever in your life as friends or as sex in the city 2 quotes - friends who are soul mates. And I stand firm to what I believe years ago till now that.. I have good friends but hardly any who understands me well enough to be a best friend. Not that I'm complaining but here I am sitting and contemplating why at the age of becoming 21( in just 4 days time) and still thinking about friendship issues. I always thought friendship issues always happen in primary school and whatnot. As I sit here wondering, I can't help but feel nothing about the celebration of turning into a full-fledged adult in just 4 days time. Being 21 means a lot to me, a time where I finally get the freedom I want but this time round, I just want to stay as what I am now. Free yet safe.
X
Thursday, March 12, 2015
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Today, i feel under looked and under inspired.
Today, i feel like i have to bottle my feelings up to keep going.
Today, i feel like maybe i don't fit in like i used to.
Today, i am exhausted by the conventions of life and only looking from one side of the story.
Today, i have no empathy for others.
Today, i just want today to end.
Today, i feel like i have to bottle my feelings up to keep going.
Today, i feel like maybe i don't fit in like i used to.
Today, i am exhausted by the conventions of life and only looking from one side of the story.
Today, i have no empathy for others.
Today, i just want today to end.
Sunday, December 7, 2014
#HYFIELDCAMP
In about 12 hours time, i would be awake getting ready for work and the boy would already been settled in @ the tekong jungle. Thoughts went a little like this the past day.
6/12/14
12pm: OMG finally meeting the boy
6pm: Why is time passing so quickly.. CAN I REALLY GO THROUGH WITH 5 DAYS NOT TALKING?!
2am: FUUUUUUU, its tmrw.. bookin day.
7/12/14
all day: I JUST WANNA CRY but okay i will watch harry potter,paint my nails and be comfy with myself.
HAHA. so i guess I'm still very pessimistic about going through the field camp :( Not hearing his voice for 4 nights :'( But 4 out of the 5 days, i will be working so time is gonna pass by real fast i hope. Missing the boy these days come in waves and waves, sometimes i feel like hey.. it ain't that bad and sometimes i feel like taking the next ferry to tekong to give him a huge big hug. But it's just 1 more month till he POPs and all of these will be worth it!!! Can't wait to get through this week, if only hibernation could happen for me.
6/12/14
12pm: OMG finally meeting the boy
6pm: Why is time passing so quickly.. CAN I REALLY GO THROUGH WITH 5 DAYS NOT TALKING?!
2am: FUUUUUUU, its tmrw.. bookin day.
7/12/14
all day: I JUST WANNA CRY but okay i will watch harry potter,paint my nails and be comfy with myself.
HAHA. so i guess I'm still very pessimistic about going through the field camp :( Not hearing his voice for 4 nights :'( But 4 out of the 5 days, i will be working so time is gonna pass by real fast i hope. Missing the boy these days come in waves and waves, sometimes i feel like hey.. it ain't that bad and sometimes i feel like taking the next ferry to tekong to give him a huge big hug. But it's just 1 more month till he POPs and all of these will be worth it!!! Can't wait to get through this week, if only hibernation could happen for me.
Saturday, November 1, 2014
1.45am, 2 NOV
Currently D-2 to #HYNSJOURNEY.
Chanced upon a article online which talks about the moment where you knew you are in love with him. (http://thoughtcatalog.com/crissy-milazzo/2014/10/21-people-tell-the-story-of-the-moment-they-knew-they-were-in-love/)
& y'know what, WHY NOT now?
So.. I guess I have always been a dreamer/sucker for love. May have lost many times over the previous relationships but till I met the boy now.. Nothing ever feel so real and secure. I guess I know its love when I am normally freaking out just by not meeting the boy for a week and till now.. I am feeling this surreal peacefulness in my heart. Not sure if this means something to me but it feels like a great deal, like I feel so safe to be around him and to finally grow up and mature with the boy. Entering the next phase of life together, many can choose to give up or carry on but I am very sure that we will be able to make it through together. Falling in love is not like a feeling that can be described, in fact it leaves me hanging whether putting my heart on the line would do my any good. Falling in love is when despite all the mood swings, he takes the time to cheer you up and cook you fav chicky wings. It is when he accepts you wholesomely, for who you are. Someone whom you can share your secrets with and not feel embarrass about. Falling in love is where farts does not matter and 'ABC' is just a game which cracks both of you up. Falling in love is being their for each other and dancing to children's songs and creating crappy dance moves.
X
Chanced upon a article online which talks about the moment where you knew you are in love with him. (http://thoughtcatalog.com/crissy-milazzo/2014/10/21-people-tell-the-story-of-the-moment-they-knew-they-were-in-love/)
& y'know what, WHY NOT now?
So.. I guess I have always been a dreamer/sucker for love. May have lost many times over the previous relationships but till I met the boy now.. Nothing ever feel so real and secure. I guess I know its love when I am normally freaking out just by not meeting the boy for a week and till now.. I am feeling this surreal peacefulness in my heart. Not sure if this means something to me but it feels like a great deal, like I feel so safe to be around him and to finally grow up and mature with the boy. Entering the next phase of life together, many can choose to give up or carry on but I am very sure that we will be able to make it through together. Falling in love is not like a feeling that can be described, in fact it leaves me hanging whether putting my heart on the line would do my any good. Falling in love is when despite all the mood swings, he takes the time to cheer you up and cook you fav chicky wings. It is when he accepts you wholesomely, for who you are. Someone whom you can share your secrets with and not feel embarrass about. Falling in love is where farts does not matter and 'ABC' is just a game which cracks both of you up. Falling in love is being their for each other and dancing to children's songs and creating crappy dance moves.
X
Friday, October 24, 2014
25th October 2014 12.55am
My very first university holiday has started and here I am jobless and cashless HAHA. D-12 to the start of the boy's #HYNSJOURNEY. Spending every hour we can together to make sure we would not be losing time to anything else. Days spent on swimming, delivering and just being together has reminded me why i love him. Honestly scared about how i am going to react when he enters the next phase in life but I'm constantly reminding myself that I'm not longer that young girl who needs the constant effort and care from the boy everyday. It is definitely the time for me to grow up and take charge of what it may bring. If anything, I'm sure things will work out just fine. 2 work interviews tmrw to make sure my week days are packed when the boy is going through with #HYNSJOURNEY.
Can't wait to get back to the hectic and fast-paced life. Christmas is round the corner too :D
Can't wait to get back to the hectic and fast-paced life. Christmas is round the corner too :D
Sunday, October 5, 2014
5th Oct' 2014
Its like i feel this emptiness in me and no one in the world would understand.
It may seem like i have all I need in this life time, maybe all the materialistic ones but not much that really fills my heart. Don't know why but there's just something missing in this phase. Phase, we tell everyone we are going through phases.. Maybe I'm just tired of all the pretentious beings in my life. Everyone is broken, it's just a matter of how we handle it. Maybe, right now. I don't have enough energy or faith to deal with the bullshit in our life. I can't fathom how some could be so broken to not care about others, or how some are so broken over things that shouldn't affect. Phases, are these really phases or for a life-time? We are just 20, not even 20 odd. The phase where we have to deal with adult bullshit, act like adults but still a child in everyone's eyes. If only I could grow out of this stage. Urgh.
It may seem like i have all I need in this life time, maybe all the materialistic ones but not much that really fills my heart. Don't know why but there's just something missing in this phase. Phase, we tell everyone we are going through phases.. Maybe I'm just tired of all the pretentious beings in my life. Everyone is broken, it's just a matter of how we handle it. Maybe, right now. I don't have enough energy or faith to deal with the bullshit in our life. I can't fathom how some could be so broken to not care about others, or how some are so broken over things that shouldn't affect. Phases, are these really phases or for a life-time? We are just 20, not even 20 odd. The phase where we have to deal with adult bullshit, act like adults but still a child in everyone's eyes. If only I could grow out of this stage. Urgh.
Saturday, August 16, 2014
17 August 2014 12.06AM
Urgh, can't even put to words how upset I am right now. Freaking google docs didn't save my work and all the stuff that I have typed are all gone FMLFMLFML. Like why does this always and I mean always happen to me?! Such a good day went down the drain with all my stuff missing urgh, can't even. & I just needed a place to rant and why not here urgh can't even omg.
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